SMOOTHIE CRIMINAL – THE MAGIC MUSHROOM SMOOTHIE

Sometimes I want to feel full but I’m too lazy to make a full meal. Too busy to chop. Too tired to chew. 

What can I say. I’m a lethargic f*ck sometimes. There are moments in life when I’m not in the mood to cook, moments when it’s way too hot to put on the oven, moments where I’m running two hours behind. And by moments I mean most of the time, if not always. Sometimes (most of the time) I just want to take a bunch of ingredients, throw them in a blender, press a button, and call it a day. Sometimes, I just want to suck down something thick and creamy. Sometimes, I want to sip away the pain. For all these situations, there’s a simple solution that fits every size: make a smoothie.

Ah, yes, the smoothie. 

Don’t want to eat a banana on the subway because a group of frat bros just got on? Enjoy your phallic fruit from the comfort of a reusable straw. Don’t have time to sit down and eat a proper meal? Bring one on the go. Hungry, but don’t want to spoil your whole appetite because you know your mom will be pissed if she finds out you ate even remotely close to dinner time? Blend it up and pound one down. 

This recipe is called the Magic Mushroom Smoothie. Not because it includes any real hallucinogens (because it does not, but feel free to remix as you please), but because all these ingredients, when mixed together, create a deliciously magical sensation in your mouth. You’ve got your carb fix (banana), your upper (chaga and cold brew), your protein (peanut butter), and your dose of calcium (almond milk), merged into one rich and decadent liquid refreshment. 

As we inch into summer, we’re recommending this smoothie because it’s easy, it’s healthy, and it’s the perfect pick-me-up and cool-me-down on a boiling hot day. It’s got all you need and more. Balance, baby. But the secret lies in the Chaga. Adding our Chagaccino mix gives this beverage a kick—a kick in the gut and a kick in the mouth. It adds sweetness and flavor without any sugar, plus it gives your average mix of ingredients that extra boost of nutrients and adaptogens that are hard to get elsewhere. 

Come on, try it. What’s there to lose?

THE GOODS

• 1 frozen banana
• Double shot of espresso
• 1 Chagaccino packet
• 2 tablespoons of almond or peanut butter
• 1 cup of almond or oat milk
• Unsweetened protein powder (check out our fave here)
• Ice

HOW TO MAKE IT

1. In no particular order, throw all of the goods in a blender.
2. Hit blend until smooth. 
3. Enjoy.